ROUTINE
Half of travel is as much about self discovery and self knowledge as it is about world knowledge and experience, if you pay attention. I've found that if I am not intentional to keep the things important to me part of my day, that I start to lose my sense of self. Daily prayer routine, rest, and working out are what are most important (besides my wife who is #1).
When you have this much travel on the horizon, it is easy to get wrapped up in the to-dos-and-sees of the next day or place or thing in a such a way that you don't have brain space for anything else. It can be all-consuming and very distracting, especially mentally. Abby and I have both had this happen. And if you are reading this from your office, home, or room and dream of travel then you know what I am talking about, especially for those who are at work and the work is very slow right now.
April 10th was the first day of implementing a morning and night prayer routine. Thanks to the team at the St. Francis Xavier Lay Missionary Society, we are reading through The Anawim Way- Pondering the Word and Liturgical Meditations. If you are not Catholic or Christian, the liturgy refers to the public worship of the Church. The Mass is an example of the liturgy. So in this book it has the Mass readings from each day with the Responsorial Psalms, then a reflection, and questions at the end.
Abby and I will read through together, switching off reading every other paragraph, then answering the questions honestly. April 11 was day two of this particular routine and it helps us keep the first things first; to put aside our desires to jump into the day and pause to read the scriptures and pray together. This does several important things:
IF we don't do it first thing in the day we likely won't prioritize it or get to it the rest of the day:
1. "Remain in me, as I remain in you.."-John 15:4. "The words I have spoken to you are spirit and life."-John 6:63.
It keeps us grounded in the scripture first thing in the day so that we can allow ourselves to be open to the spirit as He speaks to us throughout the day; to remember to be thankful in each circumstance as much as we can. This is particularly difficult when patience wears thin, and it does at some point each day, but I am more likely to pray to God in these moments. The faith is more likely to grow when we both commit to the practice, and we are promised that Christ will remain with us.
2. "When Sarah's parents left the bedroom and closed the door behind them, Tobiah rose from bed and said to his wife, 'My sister, come, let us pray and beg our Lord to grant us mercy and protection.' She got up and they started to pray.."-Tobit 8:4-6.
It creates a deeper unity and connection in our relationship with each other and God when we pray together.
3. "The unbelieving husband is made holy through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy through the brother."-1 Cor 7:14.
It also helps us help each other when we don't feel like praying, which happens to us both at various times each week. It creates a kind of accountability. I know that when I don't feel like it, Abby is going to initiate and vice versa.
Night Routine
At night, we do the Compline. Being a Catholic Christian means we are constantly learning about the tools of our faith and more ways to praise God. The Compline, also known as Night Prayer, is part of the Liturgy of the Hours that religious around the world are taking part in so that the Church is praying without ceasing. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18: "Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing. In all circumstances give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus."
The Compline is meant to be prayed after retiring for the night but well before sleep. Prayer right before sleep often turns to just sleep and unfinished prayer. Though Father Kiernan in Sacramento says not to worry so much about this. It's like watching a movie and holding hands with your significant other who has fallen asleep: you understand and you are going to remain there with them loving them whether awake or asleep. Even though I love this analogy, I want to be intentional to create a special place in time where I won't fall asleep. It takes about 15 minutes if none of it is sung.
Abby and I each have personal prayer time first thing upon waking and then joint prayer and discussion with the Anawim Way. My morning prayer routine will evolve but right now it is the Morning Prayer of the Liturgy of the hours. The beginning of the day is for praise (Morning prayer, aka Lauds) and the end of the day is for Thanksgiving (Compline). By praise, I mean celebrating the goodness of God as the day begins. It allows us to consecrate ourselves to God each day. By consecrate, I mean dedicating yourself to God, prioritizing things that bring me closer to God and avoiding things that draw me away from God.
As of April 18th, today, we haven't been perfect at keeping this prayer routine every single day. Its usually every other day or every couple days. We are working on making it more regular. We are only human, after all.
Prayer and Relationship Take Work
Some mornings we get up in bad moods. Maybe it's from the night before, something one of us didn't enjoy, being overly tired and exhausted, the heat, something one of us said or did that hurt is still lingering, or the day just hit us wrong. These moments happen, and take some time to get back to feeling normal.
I would be remiss if I didn't bring this up. Morning praise with a partner is wonderful and perseverance is important. The goal everyday- to grow in hope, faith, and love. It is also important to acknowledge that there are emotions and feelings beyond our control that take time to go away. They take hard conversations and reconciling with each other. They may take an “I’m sorry” and they will definitely take compromise and understanding. It might take a coffee or it might take a stroll together.
Both partners must be committed to each other and to the prayer. Even if one partner is not committed in the moment and the other partner is then they could make it an act of love, putting aside what they want, and desiring the good of the other. They may even need to ask God in that moment for the desire to pray.
I know many of us probably experience these things if you are Christian and in a relationship. We all have different ways of connecting with God and each other, and keeping God at the center of our lives, recognizing him in the day to day, moment to moment. Since he is outside of time and eternally present to us always- accepting and even appreciating that we are living His will in every moment, as challenging as that may be, with as much pain as it causes us, and knowing with certainty, that he has revealed to us, through Jesus Christ, that he is a good God.
Knowing He is the one true God, an all powerful presence who can take the good and the bad and use it for good, eventually, makes every moment a gift from God. Knowing God is always by our side, we can ask him to help us see with his eyes (we know from scripture, that His ways are not our ways); and even in our hardest, most painful moments give thanks to God for everything he has blessed us with: family (even if dysfunctional, if we trust the love and courage that God gives us and we choose to forgive and say we are sorry, we can potentially turn it around), mobility, our 5 senses or those that we have access to, our jobs, our money, our accomplishments, forgiveness of sins, friendship, our abundance or even our poverty, our health, mind, memory, strength or even our weakness.
The Purpose of Life: Love
We are on this Earth for a very short time. We can’t take our money with us, our things will stay and be distributed to whoever we want, but they will never know what it all meant to us. We can and should create while we are here. We should have relationships and strive to love each other above all else. Marcus Mumford said, “Only love will win in the end”. In the end, faith will turn to sight, hope will turn to possession, and love will last into eternity, unchanged but more present than we’ve ever known it.
St. John of the Cross said, “In the evening of our lives, we will be judged on love alone.” I found this to be a daily choice and an attitude. Love is more than a feeling. It is a person. You want to experience a little heaven here on Earth, love others and allow yourself to be loved. Serve others out of love.
First Principle and Foundation
St. Ignatius in Spiritual Exercises starts the book with what he calls the First Principle and Foundation. This is a shortened literal paraphrase and contemporary paraphrase:
God created human beings to praise, love, and serve God and by doing this to save their souls.
God created all other things on the face of the earth to help fulfill this purpose.
From this it follows that we are to use the things of this world only to the extent that they help us to this end, and we ought to rid ourselves of the things of this world to the extent that they get in the way of this end.
or
The goal of our life is to live with God forever. God who loves us, gave us life. Our own response of love allows God's life to flow into us without limit. All the things in this world are gifts of God insofar as they help us develop as loving persons. But if any of these gifts become the center of our lives, they displace God and so hinder our growth toward our goal.....Our only desire and our one choice should be this: I want and I choose what better leads to God's deepening his life in me.
Last Thoughts
Faith is a central point of our identities and I wanted to share how we keep it a priority in the face of an ever changing situation (moving cities every 2-5 days). Thanks for reading. If you made it this far, I appreciate you taking the time and I hope you have an awesome day.
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